10 Reasons Why I Love the Hong Kong Transport System

Well, well.

Where shall I begin? (:

1. Rattling Minibus Windows

This is a big one that never fails to tick me off. Every time an old mini-bus goes over a bump, you’re bound to hear the rattle of the window on your side, caused by the glass thickening on the bottom and thinning in the middle. Hell, when these things start rattling you’d swear that someone had just fired a gun next to your ear. Many a time have I found entertainment in seeing a poor lad fall asleep against a window and then to have his brains shaken out as soon as the bus starts.

Solutions? There aren’t any. You could try muffling it with your forearm, but that’d just result in a horrible finger cramp that’ll be bound to last at least 10 minutes or more. Opening the window is even worse, as they slide over each other and actually rattle against each other, quadrupling the sound. UGH.

2. The minibus driver himself.

Now, I know I’m being a bit prejudiced here, but I have YET to see a minibus driver with manners around here. What’s more, the majority of these also seem to have road rage, which is good if you’re short on time and want to get to your location as fast as possible, but just plain rough for poor old Gramps down there in the back corner trying not to barf. Excessive swearing and rude hand signs add some zing to your ride as you travel at breakneck speed down Austin Road.

3. The kicking child is always in the seat behind you, and the screaming one on the seat next.

Why, oh why is it that I never get to sit next to anyone sane? Children are fine, I suppose if they keep their mouths shut and their feet to themselves, but if they don’t, I swear, one day I’ll just EAT SOMEONE.

4. The douchebag parent who doesn’t care when you complain.

I guess it runs in the family. -Sigh-. That is all.

5. Taxi drivers always taking the long route.

Okay, I admit I WAS talking on the phone when you turned around and asked me if we should take the long route to avoid a long traffic jam, but hell, dude, you never told me the ‘longer’ route would add an extra TEN EFFING DOLLARS onto the meter. @#$@#$.

6. Getting interrupted by FalunGong protestors.

FalunGong are getting more and more annoying these days. Especially if one holds your minibus driver up and then motions for the rest of the two hundred in the parade to follow as he slowly walks past with his “FALUN DAFA IS GOOD” Banner, spewing anti-communist slogans along the way.

“Heaven will strike Chairman Hu Jinn-Tao” “Falun DAFA Gooood!” “Join us and help free our sisters!”

7. In-car TV brainwashing.

I don’t get the purpose of “in-bus” entertainment, if all they show are old-granny talk shows (which were recorded over four years ago, by the way) and slimming ads.

8. Bus Uncle. ’nuff said.

BUS UNCLE! I actually like this one. This old guy was on a double decker bus, and was talking loudly on the phone, and alledgedly, the youngster patted on his shoulder and asked him to speak more softly.

During the fight ensured, someone whipped out his camera phone (bless him) and within mere weeks, the video went instantly viral! More wikipedia info here.

Highlights:

I have pressure you have pressure!

Boss…

It’s not settled!

9. (This just in.) Airport Lady.

Something similiar to Bus uncle. Actual Translation here. Best parody HERE.

10. Teenagers who are too observant for their own good and then post this up online.