Trifter

(photo by the author)

I have a lot to write and share in just a few days. I don’t think I could define this country, culture, and people in a few sentences, or without partial views, or misunderstanding due to some fragments of personal experiences. But my reflections should be genuine at least.

Many things/issues are completely visible in this society:

1. Poverty
2. Overly populated
3. Religion as an identity
4. Only men–women appeared in the late afternoon, around 6 or 7 pm, at the markets, especially in Delhi–usually mother with daughter, wife with husband, no single woman walks on the street;
5. Men in Delhi are aggressive, bold, and in a despair or simply because of the heats
6. Traditions run this society
7. No rules is the rule

Poverty–begging for foods and money, from children mostly (well, Slumdog Millionaire has some points, but probably offended some Hindu believers, who told me that the movie is not faithfully reflecting the society), sometimes women who are carrying babies also begging for foods. They look very filthy, not smelly, but dirty–dirty hair, face, and ragged cloths; they came very close to you physically and followed you with an unstoppable persistence (you wonder where their energy came from). Street vendors are persistent and aggressive. i was warned in advance, so i wore my sunglasses without a facial expression or pretended not seeing them; you did not engage with them, not even with a “word”; even just replied “no, thanks!” They immediately followed you.  Once or twice i had to be “mean” to the street vendors; they did not take “no” for answer.  But after 3-4 days of being in India, you are eventually used to and no longer being bothered by their persistence. They became a part of backdrop of daily life in India. You may miss its bustling motions in the mid-west US.

The overpopulation of India is also very evident! not only their presences in everywhere, but also the use of labor.  In stores (shoes, cloth stores, and supermarket), there will be 1 or 2 men/guards simply opening doors for shoppers. They do nothing, just to open the door for you. Of course, buses and trains are full of passengers.

(photo by the author)

No taboo on asking one’s religion, age, marital status, relationship, and nationality (I was asked if I am a Japanese–no exception so far–many Japanese tourists are here and India is also one of most popular spots for Japanese travelers, the fascination with India has to with history and Buddhism in Japan).

I was asked about my religion as well, i answered them, Christian; a visitor i met at the Museum assumed that I am a Buddhist, because I an Asian in appearance.  This is the first time that I have been defined by religions, not by other measures.  Later I learned that being a Christian in India, in most cases, is considered as the outcast, because it does not fit into their caste structure.  However, Goa is the major site for spreading Catholicism by early Jesuit Missionaries, some would stop over here and go on to Japan and China in the 17th century AD.

Men, men, and men. Men are everywhere and stare at women without a hesitation. Both my niece and I prefer men in Jaipur, because they are less intrusive and more friendly. Often time they would stop and watch what were you doing, but in a non-threatening, quiet, and observant way. Agra has a large Muslim community and is considered as an Islamic city, where the Islamic doctrine is practiced and the rules could be quite strict–no drinking for men, either.  Men in big city or capital are different.  Of course, there are many kinds of men in New Delhi. They not only stare at women, they would try to hit on them as well. Some women may interpret them as being “friendly”!  For me, sometimes they could be annoying.  No single woman/no single female foreigner walks alone! could you imagine? this is the Capital of the country and one of the oldest surviving civilizations in this planet! and there are a lot of European tourists. Men would try to get your attention while you were walking by either calling you or steered his vehicles near to you (motorcycle mostly).  Sometimes, they would persistently asked whereabouts you are.  They might be harmless, but I could not take a chance. My most shocking experience was with the taxi driver who sent my niece to the airport.  The taxi was reserved by the hotel. My hotel is in a really economy class, but list as 3 stars. Well, hotels with 3 stars in India are pretty much like motels or 1 stars in the US.  I was lucky that I did not bring my own toilet papers, but some hotels do not prepare toilet papers.  The facility of my hotel was terrible, but near to the metro station and the hotel’s manager or owner will try to rip me off for other service.  The metro in Delhi is very comfortable and clean; but again, the local passengers spot you (tourists) immediately.   Back to that driver, I learned from him in a 30 minutes ride–India men fantasize foreign women (he confirmed that the majority of the foreign women, including Asians, are in to SEX (I almost drop my jaws when I heard).  I do not know if his statistics is accurate and this is purely made up by his and his friends’ hearsay (although I do witness older white women with gorgeous young Indian men together as couples or lovers), or disrespect women, or simply being despaired. He was surprised to learn that I do not smoke or drink (he claimed that I am the first one and only his foreign client who does neither–hope he got some enlightenment on that); and also surprised him that i have a doctoral degree. p.s. Indian women and men would get married at the age of 15 or 16 in an average. divorced women are very rare here, and are considered as the outcasts or a misery (a novel, The God of Small Things, will tear your heart on these social matters/women rights). Well, I am here purely for research and study, not seeking for an exotic boyfriend; but it is interesting to know that I already got many strikes here–divorced, raised a child alone, independent, educated, old (anyone older then 25), and the worst is rigid (no flirtation is involved with the driver). Although they are conservative and traditional, the inappropriate behaviors of men affected on how girls behave in order to attract their men–well, i watched a few soap opera on TV and got this impression. There are surprises here every day, and I have not been fed up yet so far.  But I have to say, Indian ladies are very beautiful, from an aesthetic point of view, and their eyes are the best–will make you wonder in a window of soul!

many educated people in India, but they still follow the traditions; only a few are like Gandhi, who also got married when he was 14 or 15 according to his Hindu tradition and through a marriage arrangement. It is sad to see a country (an expansive land and numerous dialects) progresses so slow.  However, the strong devotions to religions do make the crime rate is significant low here.

I am not sure if laws make the society different here.  Using transportation as an example. Although there are meters for taxi and auto-rickshaw, i have not found one will actually charge you by their meters. I always have to bargain the fare to make the deal before I ride one. It became a ritual, and the irony is that we were bargaining for 2 or 3 US dollars in difference.  Life here is about negotiation–bargaining for fares, shopping, time (they seem to have a lot of idle time), and with their Gods to spare their lives in a miracle way, even there is no way to change one’s destiny in their unbreakable caste system.