Trifter

THIS poignant poem in the Remembrance Book at the Northern Ireland Children’s Hospice in many ways tells the complete story:

Such a privilege to share

In the love that was there.

We heard their laughter,

We wiped away their tears

And for a little while

Questioned their fears.

On the way to Horizon House, in Newtownabbey, my thoughts centred on what I considered the hopelessness of the situation, children almost certain of an early death.

But I walked into reception to find Pooh Bear with other friends and later, being shown around the various brightly-illuminated facilities and the cheerfulness of the rooms, I was suddenly aware of what the staff was doing in this place.

My visit was made during October when the Hospice was celebrating its fifth birthday, but amid the joy, the head of children’s services, Patricia O’Callaghan, revealed the stark truth we overlook: this is the only children’s hospice in the whole of Ireland.

Two nurses were mapping out the plans for the annual Christmas party,which, for the first time, will have to be staged over two days. There are now over 300 families connected to the Hospice and surely this points out the need for more similar facilities.

Patricia explained that children from birth to 18 years are eligible for care and, like all hospice services, there is no charge to families.

The children have progressive illnesses, such as muscular dystrophy and cerebral palsy. “Many will die before adulthood. By providing this special care, we give the family and the full-time carer a well-deserved break. Additional nursing support is provided by our Hospice at Home service. The team also provides a 24-hour, seven-day-a-week, on-call service for families”, said Patricia.

The Rev. Caroline McAfee is chaplain of the Northern Ireland Hospice and acting chaplain of the Children’s Hospice. She is a Church of the Nazarene minister and was a nurse for 18 years before leaving the profession for health reasons. I asked her how she coped with the children who are dying and their families.

She described her church work as 20% spiritual and 80% pastoral but work in the Hospice was the other way round. The chaplain said it must be remembered that parents may have a faith which helps them accept the situation; others have a faith but ask: “Why me?”; and some do not have any faith, coping in their own way.

Caroline added: “I listen, try to offer words of comfort and sympathy, then realise I can do nothing. It is all in the hands of a Greater Power.”

Staff nurse, Christine McGaughey, showed me around the purpose-built accomodation family rooms, art and games room, play area, a hydrotherapy pool, an aromatherapy room and a multi-sensory room, , where a boy was enjoying relaxation under the watchful eye of a nurse.

I asked Christine was it not hard to accept the death of children over and over again and the certain fact that most of those in Horizon House would die at an early age.

She responded: “Caring for children and giving them joy while in the Hospice is our job. Yes, it is difficult not to be affected when a child for whom you have lovingly cared dies, but we have to remember thos children who are still alive and need our love and care.”

Care pointed out the important thing was the after-care of the family and this was left to other members of the Hospice team.

I made my way homeward in a different frame of mind. I had found in the midst of death, a loving, caring and special relationship, which was indeed a privilege to share.

(The Children’s Hospice always needs volunteers. It does not receive government funding and relies on public generosity. Contact the Fundraising Department, telephone 028 90778898, for information on the latest events and how to help.)