Trifter

Grimsby and Cleethorpes lie on the coast just south of the Humber estuary in North East Lincolnshire.

Although listed as two different towns they are undeniably one, the area between the two being no more than a set of traffic lights.

Traditionally a fishing port Grimsby is considered by many (local inhabitants mainly) to be ‘Cods’ country. Oddly, despite its reputation a great deal of the fish used locally ( fish & chip shops, restaurants and mass producing food factories) comes into the UK at other docks.

Another odditity about Grimsby, in fact lets be honest – the only other odditity about Grimsby, is the fact that the football team here actually play their home matches in a different town – Cleethorpes.

Now i hear you ask – where can i stay?, what can i see? What can i do for a night out?

In fairness Grimsby and Cleethorpes as a resort are best seen from the air, i would recommend a Bristol Beaufighter as the ideal plane.

Typically the combined resort welcomes long weekenders, Cleethorpes offers a variety of accomodation ranging from squalid to really okay. Most Bed and Breakfast premises in the resort have a real retro feel to them to match current trends, this includes the styling, the facilities and the staff attitudes. It would be kind to suggest that this backward trend is all show, i regret i cant. I can only recommend that you contact the local Tourist Information site for details of those premises that the council have agreed can stay open.

Once you have chosen your premises you can look forward to the joys this part of England brings. Anywhere outside a 5 mile radius of Grimsby/Cleethorpes and you will hit wonderful countryside, stunning beaches and in Lincoln a great city. Within that radius you do stand more chance of just being hit!

Grimsby is able to provide a wonderful museum experience, the Fishing Heritage Centre. I strongly disagree with the man i overheard coming out who simply stated ‘thats 25 minutes of my life i wont get back!’.  Grossly unfair, i did the full trip round in under 15 minutes and then went to Sainsburys for a coffee.

Culture is rife in this area, mainly growing on the thrown away McDonalds wrappers you hop past in town. The town did boast a Burger King but that has closed down, rumour has it they employed a number of illegal immigrant rats to help the clean up process, how true that is i dont know.

The centre of Grimsby boasts that most modern of amenities, a shopping complex. Now again we see the retro influence as they centre offers a fantastic shopping environment, undercover with upto 100 stores. A word of warning though, at the last count at least 15 premises were unoccupied including the glorious Burger King. Still it does have a Marks & Spencer and a Starbucks so that makes it worth the journey.

Nights out in the town appear to be fantastic with many events hitting the local papers front page on the Monday. Having lived here for 4 years my nerves are shot and i personally would sooner spend the evening locked up at home listening to Rick Wakemans Journey to the centre of the earth!

For those of you with metal detectors Grimsby offers a wealth of fun, especially the morning after the night before. But again a word of caution, syringes have metal bits in them as well.

Cleethorpes on the other hand offers so much more, a typical night out could include a lovely meal, ‘take out’ a local speciality, some wonderful pubs ( the doormen are there to protect you) amazing clubs, such as Flares (retro?) and then why not join the other revellers under the pier.

In summary this combined resort offers nothing unless you are studying anthropology and do not have the luxury of a time machine. If thats you come here, see how man lived 30 years ago – study the ignorance & racial prejudices, but dont try and change them – IT WONT HAPPEN. The best you can say about the area is, in the main the locals like it here, it must be a local town for local people.

As for me, i live here – i can say these things. As for the future, i will still say those things but i will be doing o from somewhere else.

Finally, and perhaps this will help sum up the area for you, i will leave you with a comment overheard in a local cafe along with two ’specialities’ of the house:

Overheard ‘ i know its gorge aint it, only £3.99 from the pound shop’

Menu:

‘Sunday Roast – Served  Monday – Friday from 11.30 onwards’

‘All Day’ Breakfast – served until Midday

Goodbye from Grimsby & Cleethorpes -