Trifter

In October 2008, I travelled from Bath to Nottingham, a distance of 120 miles. Setting off at 5:30 in the morning, I was told by the person at the desk that a return ticket would cost over £90, as this was peak time. At the station platform I counted 3 other people, and at no point during my entire journey was the train more than 1/3 full. We had to change at Birmingham and the train was delayed, so that we arrived at Nottingham over an hour late and I missed the start of the conference I was covering. On the way back the train was so crowded I had to stand for half the journey, although this time we only arrived at our destination 40 minutes late.

In November I went to Norway and caught a train from Trondheim to Fauske, a distance of over 300 miles. A return ticket cost £40, and on my comfortable seat – which reclined to an almost horizontal position – I found a kit containing a blanket, earplugs, eye mask, and inflatable pillow. The train left on time, and after 8 hours of travelling through mountains and several feet of snow, we arrived 200 miles north of the Arctic Circle. On time to the exact minute. I thought back ruefully at all the times I stood on an UK platform waiting for a train delayed because of leaves on the line, rain, or – god forbid – a light dusting of snow.

As train fares rise above inflation for yet another year, I wonder if it isn’t time for people in the UK to truly realise what a shoddy deal they are getting and rise up against it.

The English, Stereotyped abroad for their punctuality, are developing the continental 10-minute leeway when it comes to rail travel. When a train arrives 10 minutes late these days most people in the UK don’t even notice. The funny thing is, neither do the rail operators.

The proudly toted figures that tell us that 90% of our trains now arrive on time are highly misleading, since train companies are allowed to say a train was on time if it was up to 9 minutes and 59 seconds late.

According to them, passengers don’t mind these little delays, even though they often mean that they miss their connections, turning minutes into hours, as was the case with my trip to Nottingham.

We pay more than anyone else in Europe for the privilege of travelling in overcrowded and slow trains, and a lot of the money that operators claim to have invested in essential infrastructure goes into putting up barriers at stations to make sure that their ludicrous fares aren’t evaded.

Only in third-world countries have I ever seen rail passengers expected to stand for most of their journeys. In Brazil and India, however, the prices reflect the poor service, and journeys are cheap if not always comfortable. A 50 mile trip I took from Sao Paulo cost just over £1 and took about one hour.

UK rail operators have the gall to blame the government for the prices that force many of us off the trains, complaining about the axing of tax-funded subsidies. Even when more of our money was being pumped into their inefficient system, however, passengers still encountered the same delays, overcrowding and astronomic fares.

It might come as a surprise to some that we don’t actually pay VAT on train tickets, which means that all of the money we pay goes directly into the system. It is hard to imagine what level of incompetence is required to bleed so much money away.

The truth, however, might be simpler and even more sinister, as a recent study found that over the last year Arriva, the First Group, Go-Ahead, National Express and Stagecoach all increased their operating profits along with dividend payments. This means passengers paying more to line executives’ pockets.

In 2008 I travelled by train in France, Germany, Italy and Belgium. Never once did I have to stand, and every train arrived either exactly on time or a little early. UK passengers spend nearly double what residents of any of those countries did on their fares, and we get the least amount of miles per pound anywhere in Europe.

For a recent break to Bruges I travelled on 3 different trains. The first leg of my journey was from Bath to London, then I caught the Eurostar to Brussels and a connecting train to Bruges. Every train arrived at the exact time printed on my ticket except for the Bath-London one.

Used to delays, whenever possible I allow at least an hour of extra time so as not to miss my connections. When we were checking out of our Bruges hotel I asked the concierge if we should allow this extra time in case our Bruges-Brussels train was late. He stared at me uncomprehendingly for a long time, and I wondered if he had understood me. The problem was not with the language though, but with the concept behind my question. What did we mean, asking about the train being late? ‘Of course it will be on time’ he finally replied. I felt like I had insulted him somehow by my suggestion, but as I arrived on my late train from London to Bath, I realised that it is the British people who continue to be insulted every day.