Trifter

Tip # 1:  The Early E-Bird

Upon getting into the airport some three hours early for my open seating flight, I was surprised to find that I was near the end of the VIP list when it came to boarding priority.   That was when I learned about checking in online, a practice that I will forever utilize.  You see, the sooner you check in, the higher priority you are for the flight and since you can check in far earlier online than at the airport (generally 24 hours prior) it is a very smart idea.

Tip # 2:  In Case of Emergency

If you are over the age of fifteen, have a modicum of knowledge regarding how to follow simple instructions, and are able to open a door, make a b-line for the reservation of an emergency isle seat.  Since it is very unlikely that there will be any sort of emergency, the reward of a couple extra inches of leg room is well worth the risk, unless, of course, you are extraordinarily paranoid.

Tip # 3: One Carryon and a Personal Item

If you do not have a personal item, get one.  A personal item can be a computer bag, a purse, any small personal-looking bag.  What is the advantage?  It’s free.  Get one.  If for no other reason, then do it for this next two tips.

Tip # 4: Legal Loophole

Ever notice that there is a weight limit for checked bags?   Moreover that you can be slapped with a $50+ fine for being ounces overweight?  The simple solution is put your weighty things on your carryon/personal item.  Now there is generally a weight restriction on these items too, but guess what?  No one ever checks them as they assume that no one is stupid enough to carry around 50 lbs on their back.  That is where they would be wrong.  I am personally am built like a horse; at 6’3” and 265 lbs there is not much I cannot carry in full comfort.  It is amazing how a waterproof/static-proof submersible filled with hard drives and tech equipment can turn a normal backpack into a 75 lb behemoth.   The point is, however, that if you are of the correct stature, and you are carrying heavy objects, that 75 lb bag costs you nothing.

Tip # 5: The Cost of Living

Food at airports is far more expensive than at, well, pretty much everywhere except sporting events.  So the logical conclusion, liquids being restricted by TSA and not foods, is that it is a great idea for you to bring your own.

Tip # 6: Liquid Gold

A little known fact about human beings is that they run optimally on (let me see if I can lay this out in an understandable way) half their body weight (in pounds) in ounces of water.  What this basically means is that the reason that people sometimes feel completely exhausted for no good reason is that they are simply dehydrated.  This happens far more often in an airport then many other places.   As far as that goes, buy and drink two twenty ounce bottles of water over the course of your flight and you will feel far better, trust me.  What is more, those sodas and alcoholic beverages that people order on flights, along with salty crackers and peanuts, not a good idea either.  The caffeine in the soda is a diuretic, i.e. a chemical dehydrator.  And salt is, well, salt.  So drink up, I guarantee it will make your flight better.

Tip # 7: IOUs

If you haven’t noticed, airplane companies have a weird habit of overbooking flights.  It sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it is completely true.  For instance, I was once offered $500 cash, first class seating, and limousine service to put off a trip; if I didn’t absolutely need to be in Boston for a speech at Harvard, I would have taken it in a heartbeat.   The airline companies no longer offer cash, unfortunately, but travel vouchers are almost as good, so my advice would be bring a laptop computer or something else entertaining and make a flexible flight plan, it could really pay off.  Another step to making this worth your while is not biting on their offer immediately unless it is a good deal and they need one, I stress one, person to transfer.   This is for two good reasons.  One, they will most definitely give you a better deal in three to five minutes.  And two, if they are overbooked by more than one, that is a longer time that you can hold out for a good deal; you want to be the last or near last person to accept the deal.

Tip # 8: Misery Loves Company

If you have a layover, it is unbelievably more convenient to fly with a friend.  There is nothing worse than having to lug around your carryon and personal item, especially when you are in the habit of using the carryon weight trick as I do.  I must say that even though I am comfortable carrying my heavy bag on my back, I am far more comfortable leaving it with a friend than bringing it into a restroom with stagnant pools of urine, this goes twofold for woman, as gentlemen are permitted certain biological liberties in restrooms that women are not.