Trifter

There is a growing segment of the parental population that gets scant attention in the media and popular press, with unique problems and considerations all their own. More and more single fathers have either joint or primary custody of their children. Besides the obvious concerns of every parent such as food, clothing, shelter, education, etc., there are more subtle issues. I have only the expertise of experience to draw upon for most of these issues, and a writer ought to stick to what they know, so I thought I’d talk about vacations.

Cruising and the Single Father

We all want to spend time with our children on vacation, but the idea of a vacation is to relax and have some fun, and this includes old Dad, too. Divorced fathers, who usually spend less time with their children per capita through the year, are especially sensitive to showing the kids a good time. Disney World, a trip to the beach or mountains, or state or national parks are all popular destinations, but all have significant drawbacks.

A day at the beach watching your children swim, especially if they are small, is about as relaxing as driving in rush hour traffic; the magic of Mickey & Company has worn perilously thin after the third or fourth time winding through a serpentine line for an hour and a half, waiting to see robotic animals dance to bad music for three minutes. But there is an option available where you can spend quality time with your children and still feel like you had a vacation yourself.

A cruise is one of the best vacation options available to the single father. Most family oriented cruises are rife with entertainment options for the children, from about four or five years of age up to the upper teens. Treasure hunts, tours of the ship, ice cream buffets, group activities by age, play rooms, teen clubs, all serve to occupy your little tax deductions, giving you a chance at some well-deserved personal time and fun of your own. It is, after all, your vacation, too.

The single father who is likely to be reading this will do well to remember his demographic, and his TV history. By my admittedly biased accounting (but based on the experiences of five cruises with my daughter from age seven to fourteen), for every single male on a cruise ship, there are at least two single women, most of whom were raised watching The Love Boat. For single fathers, the number of single mothers per capita is greater still, and you already have something in common to laugh, commiserate, and compare notes about. Like yourself, the single moms want to generate a few fond memories of their own.

If I had a son, there are only two pieces of advice I would give him concerning women. The first is to never be coerced into guessing age or weight (you are lying if you fall shy, and dead in the water if you guess high), and the second is to learn to dance. If you are willing to smile, say hello, and provide a warm body on the dance floor (optional, but very helpful), you almost cannot help but meet someone on a cruise. For whatever vain reason, many men will not get out on the dance floor for fear of the world’s discovering that they are not John Travolta. Get over it. You don’t have to be a good dancer, although it doesn’t hurt; you just have to be willing to get out there. This is not American Bandstand; no one is keeping score.

Cruise lines are very aware that one of the main reasons single people take cruises is that they want a chance to meet other single people in a romantic setting. They promote the idea of new love on the high seas in their advertising, and do all that they reasonably can to perpetuate this image. Therefore, making this easier for you is good business. Sitters are available up into the wee hours, with well-trained supervision and so many activities, games, and movies that the biggest problem is getting junior to leave to go with you at bedtime.

For both you and the kids, this is the time to try new things, have some adventure, and expand your base of experience. For the older kids, a cruise is like a learner’s permit for adulthood; they can be given a bit more rein than usual because of the subtle supervision of the ship’s staff, and can make friends with people of very different backgrounds. You can kick up your heels a bit, secure in the knowledge that you are very unlikely to see any of these people again unless you want to. You can have the chance of a romantic fling with a nice lady, have something to lie about to your friends, and when the lady in question tells the story back home in Omaha, you are six feet-four and good looking.

Romance aside, there is virtually always something to do on the ship, or on the shore. Depending upon your destination, you can visit exotic beaches, go snorkeling, visit historical ruins, shop, tour the islands, or just kick back and enjoy the amazing service. I was reticent to get up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom on my first cruise, afraid that the bed would be made when I returned. They will cheerfully bring your children a turkey sandwich and soft drink at two in the afternoon or morning, and smile as they watch you track sand onto the ship from the beach. Remember that they work for tips. It is a poor man’s chance to be rich for a week.

Prices vary with accommodations and season, but compare very favorably with equal time in Orlando or Myrtle Beach, and you are much more likely to still be speaking to your children after the week is over. You can do as much or little as you like, eat some great food, see a bit of the world, and maybe squeeze in a little adventure and/or romance for yourself. Take a chance; take a cruise. Did you really want to ride that bike with ET again?