Trifter

1. Winter Roads:

   

   These temporary roads (also known as ‘ice roads’) connect remote northern communities with the south. They can only be used for about 2 months a year, and even then the driving is risky. Without winter roads, however, supplies from the south must be flown into these communities at great expense, so truckers take the risk.

2. Royal Canadian Mounted Police:

   

   They don’t ride horses anymore, except in parades and ceremonies. Ditto for the bright red uniforms.

   These days, the RCMPs have traded in their 4 legged Mustangs for the 4 wheeled versions.

3. Tim Horton’s coffee shops:

   

   The best coffee in the world! Only in Canada, you say? Well, it used to be, but Tim’s has recently added 400 locations in the United States.

   

   Tim’s coffee is also available in Afghanistan. 2000 homesick Canadian soldiers can now get their coffee fix a little closer to their base at Kandahar.

4. We have our own version of Mountain Dew.

   

    In Canada, it is illegal for clear or ‘non-dark’ soda to contain caffeine. So here, ‘Caffeine-free Mountain Dew’ is just labeled ‘Mountain Dew’.

5. The Ice Hotel:

   

   Contrary to what our king of fake Canadian news, Rick Mercer tries to tell you in his “Talking to Americans” segments, our Parliament Buildings are not made up of large, interconnected igloos.

   But the Ice Hotel is real. It has been recreated every December since 2001 in Quebec City. Like Frosty the Snowman, it melts away in the spring.

   
   Even the beds and chairs are made from ice, although animal skin blankets keep people pleasantly warm during their stay.

   Public day tours are available for those who would rather not brave an overnight stay.

So – we don’t live in igloos, and most of us have never even seen a dogsled, but we are very polite (we say ‘thank you’ to our ATM machines) and friendly (if you ask someone in a Canadian Tire store for help, they will likely help you even if they don’t work there), and we love to discuss the weather (we have four seasons, sometimes all in one day). If you are driving, better come visit us in winter. The potholes in the roads are filled in with snow.