Trifter

            Do you love really good Mediterranean food?  Slap ya mama, lean back in your chair, loosen your waistband, moan orgasmacally good Mediterranean food, the best you will ever eat in your entire life?  If the answer is yes, then you need to hotfoot it over to Babylon Café in the riverbend section of New Orleans.

            The moment you open the door to the cozy little restaurant on Maple Street, the aroma of spices, sizzling meat and homemade bread hit your nose and you realize that you have reached culinary paradise.  The homemade bread alone is enough to brave howling winds and high water to get to, but just dip a piece of that hot, crusty divine manna from heaven into the creamiest, most flavorful humus your mouth has ever wrapped around and you will know you have come home.  This is it, babe, you ain’t leavin’, ever.  The Grim Reaper himself will have to drag you out kicking and screaming with your mouth still full of humus and homemade bread.  But save a little room in that rapidly-filling stomach of yours to indulge in one of those little treasures they call “appetizers”.  I suggest the spinach filos, delicate little hot, flaky triangles filled with spinach, onions and feta cheese.  Absolutely to die for.  You will want to eat a dozen of them, but wait!  Save just a little more room for one of Babylon’s magnificent entrees.

            The entrees at Babylon Café are made to order.  No fast-food heat lamps here!  The food arrives at the table steaming hot, accompanied by a salad made with greens so crisp and fresh you wonder if they just picked them out back.  Everything on the menu is fabulous, but of course I have some favorites to suggest.  I don’t know who taught the owner, to cook back in his native Iraq, but a shrine should be set up in his or her honor.  The kabobs (lamb, chicken or beef) are cooked in a combination of herbs and spices that elicit honest-to-goodness moans of ecstasy.  I have often thought of having a kabob analyzed by a chemist, but it wouldn’t do me any good.  I’m sure that any attempts at imitation would flop, because the chefs in Babylon’s kitchen are magicians who simply can’t be copied.  The humus-and-lamb plate—chunks of sizzling lamb and veggies laying on a mound of humus—elicits similar reactions every time I order it.  .  Absolute nirvana.  But there are other delicacies on the menu.  Don’t pass up the grilled salmon on one of your return trips to Babylon (and you will return, trust me).  A huge piece of grilled, pink, flaky, insanely delicious salmon with grilled vegetables.  It just doesn’t get any better.  There are quite a few other entrees available, about fifteen or sixteen in all.  Eat your way through the menu.  I certainly have!

            All entrée plates are available from opening to closing (11:00 a.m. until 10:00 p.m., seven days a week), but if you are in the mood for maybe soup and a sandwich instead, try the wonderful lentil soup and a kabob sandwich or, for a real treat, the eggplant sandwich, on homemade bread, of course.  Anyone can buy pita bread from the grocery store; pamper yourself and indulge in that incredible homemade bread.

            If you are vegetarian, or simply in the mood for lighter fare, don’t walk on by.  Babylon has delicious veggie plates and sandwiches.  They also have refreshing mint tea and the best Lebanese tea (made with rose water and sprinkled with pine nuts) in town.  They also beautiful murals painted on their walls, which you will notice if you look up from your food long enough to take a deep breath.

            By the way, although Babylon serves some of the best food on the planet, they serve no pork and sell no alcohol.  But they don’t mind if you bring your own bottle of wine; they will even provide wine glasses and a corkscrew. 

            Have I made you hungry?  Good.  Now run on over to Babylon Café at 7724 Maple Street as fast as your furry little feet can fly.  Or call 314-0010 for pickup or neighborhood delivery.  Don’t delay.  You have been denying your stomach for lo’ these many moons.  Let the feasting begin!